Sometimes I try to estimate how many times I’ve been asked this question over the years.
And if you replace Robin’s name with Will Smith/Pierce Brosnan/Sally Field/Timothy Dalton….
I understand why. These people are beloved. Folks want to know if he was funny or she was nice or he was high. I get it.
But I’m curious, how do people expect me to answer? All of those actors were lovely and that’s how I respond. But even if they weren’t – I’m NEVER going to say that. Why would I slam anyone to you, a person who I just met at the grocery store? Would you say something other than “they’re great” about your co-workers to a random person in the cereal aisle?
I guess people want a funny little tidbit about what that famous person was like, but here’s the truth — I am too preoccupied trying to look composed while chatting with a stranger and simultaneously attempting to hide the dandruff shampoo in my cart to come up with a pithy story at that moment. Plus the fact that it was like, 20 years ago, and many of those stories are not crystal clear anymore.
It also brings up another uncomfortable aspect of this whole thing. If that’s the first/only thing you ask me – maybe you don’t really care anything about me as a person. Maybe you are just using me to get a story about someone else. It’s like having a super popular older brother and everyone just wants to know about him.
I’m interesting, too. Not because I might be able to tell you something funny about Robin Williams, but because I’ve danced in the baraat at an Indian wedding, once fed carrots to a wallaby and have undergone hypnosis. And I’ll bet you’re interesting, too, but I’ll never know because I’m trying to come up with a cute story you can retweet.
But since I still get asked, I’ll go on autopilot and say the thing I’ve said a bajillion times:
“Yeah, he/she was really great…”
And it will be true.
But I’ll always wonder if there wasn’t a more interesting conversation we could have had.
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