Revisiting: Unpopular authenticity: so…you don’t have kids?

*I’m working hard on my new book and finding myself with little time for new blog posts. I decided to bring back some older posts, that you might have missed… Hope you enjoy!

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I was shamed by a nine-year-old the other day.

She stood there, hands on hips, glaring up at me. She’d just asked me if I had kids. I told her that I did not.

“Why?”

“I never felt that was the right choice for me.”

She told me that my life was boring and sad.

It was actually pretty cute. Continue reading

Revisited – Recipe for happiness: squash the expectations

*I’m working hard on my new book and finding myself with little time for new blog posts. I decided to bring back some older posts, that you might have missed… Hope you enjoy!

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This is apparently the mathematical breakdown of what it means to be happy.
I totally agree, don’t you?

Actually, my idea of happiness doesn’t ever include exponents, but what this equation means is totally fantastic.

There was recently an article in The Atlantic that offers this equation and says that happiness doesn’t depend on how things are going. It depends on whether things are going better or worse than you thought they would.

Happiness is all about expectations. 

This is entirely true in my experience. My life used to go like this: Continue reading

Revisited: Clubbing baby actors

*I’m working hard on my new book and finding myself with little time for new blog posts. I decided to bring back some older posts, that you might have missed… Hope you enjoy!

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I just wanted to fit in.

Desperately.

All 15-year-olds just want to fit in. They skulk around like those fish on the ocean floor who can alter their skin color to match the rocks. That was me – trying to blend like my survival depended on it.

But Mrs. Doubtfire was still in theaters, breaking all kinds of box-office records and 20th Century Fox was putting two-page ads in The Hollywood Reporter thanking everyone for buying a movie ticket. Blending was getting harder to do. But L.A. was my life now and I needed to figure out how to be part of that Hollywood crowd. A club on the Sunset Strip seemed like a good place to learn. Continue reading

My top 10 (anti-fairy tale) relationship tips

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We recently passed the twenty-year anniversary of the day my husband and I met. Our eyes met across a room and I knew immediately that I would spend the rest of my life with him.

Except that’s not at all what happened.

Actually, if you ask him about the evening we met, he’ll tell you that his first impression of me was that I looked very young and very scared. (He’s right. I was 17, and we were out with a bunch of people at a crowded movie opening. See: introvert.)

And if you ask me about the night we met? I’ll feel like a big jerk as I’ll be compelled to admit that I don’t remember meeting him. Continue reading

What do you say?

“You have great hair.”

I was putting down my yoga mat at the studio. I turned to the woman who had spoken to me, she was sitting on the floor, stretching. I had never met her before.

“Pardon me?” I asked.

“You have great hair.”

My hair had been up in a ponytail all morning because I had been writing – fighting, really – a troublesome section of my new book and so now that my hair was out long, it had that weird kink in the middle where I had secured the elastic too tight. As I was writing, I had thought maybe the words would come more easily if I could feel some air on the back of my neck. It hadn’t really worked.

My last haircut was seven months ago. I’ve recently started using this special shampoo in an attempt to combat my eternally oily scalp and it leaves the ends of my hair feeling dry. But I hadn’t even washed my hair in two days. Continue reading

Mostly I write but sometimes I say the words out loud

Hey all,

I wanted to share this clip from a talk I did in June – all about anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Even though I don’t entirely love living with these things – I love talking about this stuff. It makes me feel less alone, it reduces the social stigma around mental health and above all, it reminds me that healing is possible when we can connect and laugh and say to each other oh my God, I totally know what you mean.

Hope you enjoy this short clip. (I have been doing more talks lately, so I should have more clips to share soon.) And if you’re interested in having me come talk at your school, organization or conference – you can see my speaking kit here!